The Mary Sues Cometh
by citygirl1116
Summary: A lesser known Hogwarts class teaches new students what they really need to survive at school. A citygirl1116® parody!
1. Chapter 1

_The Author said "Let there be disclaimers,", and there were, and they were good._

**The Basic Disclaimer®** -This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. But you already knew that.

**The Be**** Nice Disclaimer** – It's a parody. Don't get angry.

**The Whatsupwiththeexclamationpoints!Disclaimer** – I'm not sure where it originated, but it seems to be an online!thing. If you've never seen it, you'll get the idea. Just please don't send me an essay on the proper use of exclamation points.

**The Playing-Fast-And-Loose-With-The-Rules Disclaimer** - I'm not sure if this skirts the line of what the website allows. I have been thwaped by the admins before. If it gets deleted and they thwap me again, so be it.

* * *

Welcome to one of the lesser-known, but most useful classes at Hogwarts! While there's no foolish wand-waving in this class, it will prepare you to recognize and avoid one of the big hazards associated with attending Hogwarts- the dangerous over-population of Mary Sues! 

This class will cover all the basic Sues, teaching you how to recognize and correctly identify them. Students who achieve an "E" or higher on their O.W.L. will be allowed to continue to Advanced Sues.

**Required Class Materials:**

-The Complete Illustrated Guide to Mary Sues (Fourth Edition) by Citygirl

- an intact sense of humor

* * *

Let's get started! The first question we must ask ourselves- What is a Mary Sue? They are the plague of the fanfiction world! The Sues are varied, ever-changing, and eternal. 

And how, you ask, will know if it is a Sue you are facing? There are a few sure-fire ways to recognize a Sue:

_Hair_- For some reason, the outstanding feature of many Mary Sues seems to be their hair. Though it may be any color, straight or curly, it is always long and "cascading." It may also be shining, shimmering, attractively tousled, wind-tossed, and have beautiful highlights that are always _totally natural_.1 A Sue's hair is never frizzy, even when it's humid. Mary Sues are required to toss their hair frequently, so as to draw attention to it and dazzle people with its beauty.

_Body_- a Sue will dazzle men and defy the laws of physics by being at once petite, but not too short, and slim, but not too skinny. Even if the Sue is only a child!Sue, she will have perfect breasts. This is probably the result of her being such a fantastic Quidditch Player and dancer.

_Eyes_- A Sue is not limited to normal eye colors, but may have eyes ranging from purple, to red, to fantastically multi-colored. If a Sue were to have normal one-color eyes, such as blue or brown, they will inevitable be described with bad metaphors such as "sky-colored" or "chocolate."

_Special skills_- Aside from being the smartest student at Hogwarts and the star of the Quidditch team in whatever house of her choosing, Sue may also be (including but not limited to) a Seer, an animagus, an expert in wandless magic, apparition (on the Hogwarts grounds), legilimency and occulmency, a fabulous singer and dancer, a speaker of multiple foreign languages. She may also be able to control the weather and/or talk to animals.

* * *

For your convenience, our Sue lessons will follow a handy reference-guide format: 

**Name**: The type of Sue

**Possible Aliases**: Other names the Sue uses.

**Parents**: Where did the Sue come from?

**Her Story**: Why is she at Hogwarts, and what will happen to her in the course of the fanfic?

**Love Interest(s)**: By far the most important feature of any Sue fanfic!

**Other Defining Characteristics**: What else makes this Sue a Sue?

* * *

**Overview**: These are the Sues that will be covered in the class- 

-**LongLostTwin!Sue**

-**Dark!Sue**

-**TragicPast!Sue**

-**Foreign!Sue** (Including the ever popular American!Sue)

-**Daughter!Sue** (Including VoldemortsDaughter!Sue, SnapesDaughter!Sue, SiriussDaughter!Sue, and RemussDaughter!Sue. Now updated to include DumbledoresGranddaughter!Sue)

-**Adult!Sue** (Including NewOrderMember!Sue and NewTeacher!Sue)

-**Marauder!Sue** (Including special section on Lily!Sue)

-**Muggle!Sue** (Including OopsIFellThroughAPortalInSpaceAndEndedUpAtHogwarts!Sue and WantedByVoldemort!Sue)

-**Canon!Sue** (Including Hermione!Sue, Ginny!Sue, and MinorCharacter!Sue)

-**Rebel!Sue** (Including Goth!Sue, Punk!Sue, Slut!Sue and Troublemaker!Sue)

That's all for today, in our next class, we'll begin an in-depth examination of LongLostTwin!Sue.

1 Possible exceptions are Goth!Sue and Punk!Sue

* * *


	2. LongLostTwin Sue

**LongLostTwin!Sue **

Today we will consider two main breeds of the **LongLostTwin!Sue**, they are **HarrysTwin!Sue** and **DracosTwin!Sue**. Keep in mind that these lessons are merely an overview, and the general characteristics of our Sues may be altered by fanfic authors so that they can use that much-loved anthem of all Sue writers: "She's not a Mary Sue!" Please keep in mind that when The Author claims in her summary that her character is not a Mary Sue, it inevitably is.

* * *

**Name:** HarrysTwin!Sue 

**Possible Aliases:** (Insert-author's-name) Potter, "The-Girl-who-Lived"

**Parents:** Typically Lily/James, although there have been isolated cases of Lily/Voldemort or Lily/Snape. Despite being the holiest woman in all of fanfiction, Lily really got around.

**Her Story:** HarrysTwin!Sue, who JK Rowling forgot to mention, also escaped on that fateful night with only a scar for reasons that the author can't fully explain. Then for a reason that the author can't explain, she is sent to live with a different normal muggle family instead of the Dursleys. She lives in abject misery for years, even when she turns eleven nobody notices because her Hogwarts letter gets lost in the mail, probably due to the evil machinations of Voldemort who is trying to keep her from her destiny. Then when she turned fourteen or fifteen, depending on which year The Author wants the story to be set in, she is discovered through means that The Author never really explains. She is thrilled to find out that she is actually adopted and the long lost twin of the famous Harry Potter, because she's always known that there was some part of her missing. She goes off to Hogwarts where she is instantly accepted and immediately knows all the magic that it has taken all the others four or five years to learn, because she's just that good. She gets perfect grades, because she's just that good, and Harry is only too happy to make her quidditch captain, because she's just that good. Then Dumbledore reveals **The Long-Lost And Even More Important Prophecy**, that it's her destiny to fall in love with either Draco or Ron and save her twin brother Harry (who she instantly discovered a deep bond with) and the world from the supreme evil that is Voldemort. She may die tragically in the process, but it's okay because either Draco or Ron's love for her can bring her back to life.

After Voldemort's defeat, she goes on to become a famous Auror and/or Minister of Magic, while her twin brother Harry fades into obscurity, wondering how the guy with his name on the cover of the books got so screwed.

**Love Interest(s): **It is HarrysTwin!Sue's destiny to be either with Ron or Draco, depending on if The Author likes kind of goofy nice guys or sneering little pretty boys. If it is Ron, he will suddenly realize that all his feeling for Hermione are purely of a brotherly nature. Hermione doesn't mind because she realizes her feelings for Ron are completely platonic. If it is her destiny to be with Draco, he will suddenly realize he has been wrong all along about half-blood and Harry, renounce his evil ways and his evil family, and switch sides. HarrysTwin!Sue will undoubtedly marry one of them, and they will go on to become HotMaleModel!Draco and FamousQuidditchPlayer!Ron.

**Other Defining Characteristics: **The nature of HarrysTwin!Sue requires that she look at least slightly like Harry, but being a Mary Sue requires that she be gorgeous. She will probably have long, shining black hair, and green eyes that look "like emeralds." Naturally, she will have a scar like Harry's, though it may be in a different place (for some reason, the little hollow of the collarbone seems to be popular), but it must be visible, so everyone knows she is "The-Girl-Who-Lived," and devastatingly sexy, because scars are, you know. She will (naturally) have a perfect body.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Foreign!Sue, Rebel!Sue.

* * *

**Name:** DracosTwin!Sue

**Possible Aliases:** (Insert-author's-name) Malfoy, (Long-fancy-Latin-name) Malfoy, (Really-trendy-American-name) Malfoy, (I-totally-got-this-off-constellations-dot-com) Malfoy.

**Parents:** Lucius/Narcissa, or if The Author wants to add some extra scandal: Lucius/Bellatrix, Lucius/Random but Extremely Pretty and Evil Mistress.

**Her Story: **DracosTwin!Sue is remarkably similar to HarrysTwin!Sue, in that J.K. Rowling also forgot to mention her, she was also sent away to live with another family for a reason that The Author cannot fully explain, and she also grows up in abject misery. Luckily, she is discovered, and goes to Hogwarts! She and Draco hate each other, for about a pararaph, then discover their awesome twin!bond. DracosTwin!Sue is sorted into Slytherin as well, but since she is not evil, and since Draco is not really evil either (just terrorized by fanfic!Lucius, who is a two-dimensional, muggle-killing, son-raping, puppy-kicking uber-villian) and just needs a hug (Citygirl wants to cry when she sees people still trying to use this excuse for Draco), they manage to convert all the other Slytherins to the good side. Except Pansy, because fanfic authors always think she's a slut. Having redeemed her brother AND the entire Slytherin house, she goes on to defeat Voldemort in some manner that The Author never really fully explains. Naturally, DracosTwin!Sue falls in love with Harry, and Draco is very upset about this, for about a paragraph. Then he remembers he's on the good side now, and he and Harry are mates, and he's the best man at their wedding. Harry's only real purpose in the fic is to make long speeches to DracosTwin!Sue's beauty, which again leaves him wondering how the guy with his name on the cover of the books got so screwed.

**Love Interest(s): **Harry, although possible fling with a Slytherin (most likely Boy!Blaise), before discovering Harry is her true destiny.

**Other Defining Characteristics: **Oddly enough, DracosTwin!Sue does not have to look like Draco. As a general rule she will have long (at least waist-length), silvery-blond hair and cool blue-grey eyes. She will be very slim and petite, except for her naturally voluputuous chest (which in fanfic world is actually the ideal build for Quidditch). A few authors, in an attempt to be different, give her very dark (at least waist-length) hair, hoping for a Bellatrix/Narcissa contrast and assuming that this will camouflage the fact that she is a Sue. It does not.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Foreign!Sue, Rebel!Sue.


	3. Dark Sue

_A short little chapter as I feel like I could use a little bit of humor after the last week, and I hope others could too, and what better amusement than mocking the Sues? But on a serious note, I hope you are all well, and if you can, give some time or money to help out the people affected by Hurricane Katrina…(end CG's public service announcement.)_

**For our next lesson, we will be focusing on Dark!Sue. Dark!Sue is a difficult case because the perfect nature of a Sue prevents it from being evil enough to be interesting. The Author may try to convince you that since Dark!Sue is not perky and bubbly she is not really a Sue. Do not be fooled!**

**Name:** Dark!Sue

**Possible Aliases:** Dark!Sue needs a Dark!Name so we know she is Dark! Names like "Raven" and "Shadow" and "Voldemortina" are popular for Dark!Sue (See, you're thinking I made that last one up, but I didn't.) Of course, Dark!Sue might also just be named "Ashlee" (doesn't exactly inspire cowering fear, and more to the point, would the forces of evil really name a daughter that? Can you really picture when she is born: "The Princess of Darknes…the heiress to our life's work of purifying the wizarding world…she shall destroy the side of the light…and we shall call her…_Ashlee_.")

**Parents:** The possibilities are endless: Voldemort/any female (or male, hell, it's fanfic) Death Eater, the Malfoys, the Lestranges, Un-named but really really super-duper evil Death Eaters, George W. Bush, Big Old Death Eater Orgy….who knows.

**Her Story: **What you need to know about Dark!Sue is that she is _baaaaaad_, but only in a devastatingly sexy way. Her parents are Death Eaters (or Voldemort) and so she was raised in a huge mansion and and is very rich, and spends her days abusing house elves, but we like her anyway because she says witty and sarcastic things. And she's hot.

She is sent to Hogwarts to pose as a student, but her real not-so-secret plot is to kill Harry. Although she is sorted into Slytherin, she immediately becomes friends with Harry and his friends. This is all part of her "plot" since in order to kill Harry, she first has to get close to him. The Author would like us to think that for some reason she can only kill him if she's dating him, but we all know it's just a transparent way to make her fall for Harry, and viola! Instant Conflict! OMGShe'sfallingfortheguyshe'ssupposedtokill! What an original plot! Let there be angst. Will she choose her evil destiny, or the boy she loves? Oh, WHAT will she choose? Harry and his friends are goofily unaware of Dark!Sue's angsty machinations, and in a shocking and completely unexpected twist of this intricate plot, Harry begins to "have feelings" for her. Finally after a whole paragraph of soul-searching, Dark!Sue completely changes her worldview, and decides she will instead destroy her evil parents and/or Voldemort in some manner that The Author never fully explains. While Harry does get credit for redeeming her from darkness, he still gets elbowed aside by her utter fabulousness, and again gets screwed.

**Love Interest(s): **Dark!Sue is required to date Draco at some point in the story. The Author will try to make us think that this is because Sue's parents want her to date Draco, but really it's to appease her Tom Felton fangirl readers, because fangirls love him and if she doesn't date Draco fangirls will react with reviews that say things like "omg lik y is she so meen to draco bcuz hes totally hot hes lik my fav and i think they shld go out (PLLZ R&R MY SROTY, K) !1!" A common twist on this is that Draco and Dark!Sue are already promised to each other as part of some kind of arranged marriage, causing even more fake angst. But, in order for her to be redeemed, she has to fall for Harry, who is her true love & destiny, etc etc etc. This will appease the Daniel Radcliffe fangirls, who will leave reviews exactly like the one above, but with "harry" in the place of "draco".

**Other Defining Characteristics: **Because The Author is not a big fan of subtlety, Dark!Sue will probably have dark hair since this, along with her dark name, is meant to indicate she's dark. Dark!Sue will probably have amazing Dark!MagicalSkills, including the unforgiveable curses and other spells the author makes up that she thinks sound Latin, and is an animagus, turning into something vaguely dark, like a raven or a black cat. She may also have eyes that are red (or better yet, that _turn_ red when she is experiencing stong emotion) to show that she's bad.

**May Be Combined With:** Rebel!Sue, LongLostTwin!Sue

* * *

I thought of another one to add to the list- "AuthorAndHerFriends!Sue" 


	4. TragicPast Sue

Although Citygirl has no formal education in psychology, she truly has come to believe that TragicPast!Sue exists as a vehicle for The Author to indulge her fascination with the dark and macabre. The Author will tell you that TragicPast!Sue is not a Sue because of all her emotional problems due to all the tragedy. Don't be fooled!

**Name:** TragicPast!Sue

**Possible Aliases:** Since there is no particular cliché name for tragic waifs, The Author is free to let her ridiculous-made-up-name imagination run wild. This, sadly, results in TragicPast!Sue being inflicted with multiple names that all sound like The Author made them up by letting her cat walk across her keyboard. Usually because she did. TragicPast!Sue can have any name, regardless of her ethnic origin or the time period she lives in, since it can all be explained away when we find out she's adopted, which she always is.

**Parents:** This is irrelevant, because TragicPast!Sue is always adopted. Often multiple times, and at least once by Forces Of Evil. Being adopted is a hallmark of TragicPast!Sue, but The Author can accomplish it in various ways, the most popular being:

1.) TragicPast!Sue is abandoned by her parents, either a) for being magic, b) for not being magic, c) because they're evil, d) no particular reason.

2.) TragicPast!Sue's real parents died in some particularly tragic manner while she was watching.

**Her Story:** When weaving the tale of TragicPast!Sue's past, The Author will not be bound by reality, credibility, or good taste. Nothing is too horrible or twisted for TragicPast!Sue to endure. She has been abandoned, orphaned, abused, beaten, locked in a closet, starved, burned, maimed, suffocated, drowned, raped, molested, kidnapped, tortured, driven to attempt suicide, abducted by aliens, ritually sacrificed to pagan gods, drawn and quartered, attacked by wild dogs, and beset by natural disasters. Her house was burned to the ground or in some other manner reduced to rubble (while she was in it, of course). She was the victim of some kind of persecution due to her special powers because everyone is so jealous of her. She was forced to attend Citygirl's sophomore year microeconomics course. There were many, many attempts on her life from which she narrowly escaped and bravely soldiered on. She is scarred, but in a way that's really sexy and doesn't detract from her tragic beauty in the slightest (The Author will use the phrase "emotional scars" liberally). Through all of this she is very stoic, keeps a stiff upper lip, pulls herself up by her bootstraps, and other clichés.

Then, she goes to Hogwarts. There is really no reason for why she doesn't go there in her first year, we are to assume it was because her evil adopted parents didn't want her to, or she was too busy being kidnapped but Forces of Evil, or she was in the hospital fighting cancer, polio and a runny nose all at the same time. She meets everyone else at Hogwarts, and is instantly accepted because she's beautiful. She is reluctant to talk about her tragic past, but lets just enough details drop so that they can be impressed by how stoic and brave she is. Luckily, the special powers she has been persecuted for some in handy, so that despite coming to Hogwarts in her fifth year with no magical education, she is already ahead of all the other students. This allows her to focus on other things, like making people feel sorry for her. She falls in love with whichever male character is The Author's favorite, but there are several chapters in which The Author recounts TragicPast!Sue's angst about falling in love because of all the emotional scars. Readers skip these chapters because they're boring, and they really just want to get to the chapters with smut. The smut usually occurs after a chapter of TragicPast!Sue pouring out her soul to The Author's favorite male character, and him comforting her, because in fanfic world big confessions always seem to lead to sex. Naturally, falling in love with The Author's favorite male character makes her forget her tragic past so she can live happily ever after.

Voldemort? Voldemort who?

**Love Interest(s): **TragicPast!Sue can fall in love with anyone, but Harry and Draco are the most popular choices because then they can bond over their mutual tragic childhoods. (Note: Although there is no canon evidence that Draco's childhood was particularly tragic, Fanfic!Draco always has an abusive childhood to rival TragicPast!Sue's) TragicPast!Sue definitely does not date anyone except her true love, but she may have had a boyfriend in the past. He died. Once she falls in love with Harry or Draco, all tragic memories are gone and she is deleriously happy.

**Other Defining Characteristics: **TragicPast!Sue is beautiful as all Sues are, and again since there is no cliché for a TragicPast!Sue's appearance, The Author is free to make her appearance as unbelieveable as possible, which she does. As previously mentioned, TragicPast!Sue has scars as a result of her tragic past. They may be visible, or they may be strategically placed to be covered by her clothes most of the time. Naturally, TragicPast!Sue is very shy about anyone seeing these scars, and yet for some reason everyone happens to, so that they can feel sorry for her.

**May Be Combined With:** Foreign!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Canon!Sue.


	5. Foreign Sue

In this chapter we will cover Foreign!Sue. Foreign!Sue includes any Sue that is not English. American!Sue, however, is so common in fanfiction that she will be discussed separately later in the chapter.

**Name**: Foreign!Sue

**Possible Aliases**: Frequently The Author will choose to make Foreign!Sue from a country of which she had absolutely no knowledge of the culture. Thus, she will give her Foreign!Sue a made up name that she thinks sounds like it might be close. Frequently this made up name means something in a foreign language. Frequently, it does not mean something The Author wants it to mean. More often, The Author will not choose one nationality, but since she doesn't know the difference, she uses them all. Thus, Foreign!Sue ends up called "Genevieve Sakuri Svetlana Leilani Brunhilde O'Malley Garcia Bjornson Al-Tahimi Smith" or something equally bad.

**Parents: **Foreign!Sue may have one foreign parent and one English parent, or two foreign parents. Regardless of their ethnic origin, they are either abusive or deceased. If Foreign!Sue is Rebel!Foreign!Sue, then they are abusive. If she is Tragic!Foreign!Sue, then they died. Tragically.

**Her Story: **Foreign!Sue comes to Hogwarts either from a foreign magic school that is either Beaxbatons, Durmstrang, or not mentioned by name because The Author can't think of what to call it. Most likely her previous school was destroyed by Voldemort and she was his main target and coincidentally the only survivor. It doesn't matter why, because she's hot and has a sexy accent. She's the best student Hogwarts has ever seen because of the special kind of magic they learn where ever she is from, which she will helpfully use to help defeat Voldemort on the off chance that The Author remembers Voldemort. More likely she does not because Foreign!Sue is too busy angsting, becoming the Hogwarts Quidditch star, and having everyone fall in love with her.

**Love Interest(s):** Anything with a pulse and possibly some inanimate objects. Foreign!Sue is exotic, which in the mind of The Author means she's a slut. Harry, Draco, Ron, Cedric, Oliver Wood…anyone The Author thinks is attractive will love Foreign!Sue. She'll probably ultimately end up with Harry or Draco, but only after all the boys and possibly some girls have declared their love.

**Other Defining Characteristics:** If she has given it thought, The Author may realize that sometimes people in other countries speak languages that are not English. She will try to impress the reader by making Foreign!Sue sometimes say things in another language. Since The Author doesn't speak this language, she will use an online translation service such as Babelfish.

For a short example, we will use the following passage:

_Hi, I'm Foreign!Sue and the result of a the mind of a teen girl with too much time and no sense of reality. Look at my lovely hair and perfect body. I'm good at everything and amazingly exotic, and all the boys are in love with me._

In online translated French, this translates to:

_Bonjour, je suis su étranger et le résultat de l'esprit d'une jeune fille de l'adolescence avec excessive d'heure et aucun sens de réalité. Ils regardent mes jolis cheveux et corps parfait. Il est bon au tout et étonnantement exotique, et tous les jeunes sont dans l'amour avec moi._

Now, since The Author does not speak French, she assumes this is correct and we are all fantastically impressed with her ability to speak French. But translate back to English, and we see how much sense it makes after two runs through Babelfish:

_Good day, I am known foreign Sue and the result of the spirit of a girl of adolescence with excessive of hour and any direction of reality. They look at my pretty hair and perfect body. It is good with the whole and far exotic, and all the young people are in the love with me._

(I frequently get spam e-mail that reads like that, usually offering to enlarge body parts I don't possess.)

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Daughter!Sue

* * *

**Name:** American!Sue 

**Possible Aliases:** One of those most noticeable features of an American!Sue seems to be her name (if you can call it that.) There are several ways that The Author creates a name for American!Sue. They are:

1.) Banging her forehead on the keyboard several times (Coincidentally, I do the same thing when reading these fics). Example: jnf;;gyc jxfdrgekgkroegkre ghnbtrhriribjn. In the world that The Author lives in, this is a "creative" name. American!Sue probably goes by a nickname. Maybe it is "jnf;". Maybe it is "Kat (with a K yo!)." It does not have to bear any connection to the name.

2.) Pick a state. What better way to indicate she's American than naming her after a state? These can range from states people actually sometimes use as names (Virginia, Dakota) to states that people do not (Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Oregon). Then, give it a creative spelling: Verjyynyah. Decodaa. Wyzkawncyyne. Nue Hha'amptur. Aurigawnne.

3.) Since America is a melting pot, why not give her an international name? And so we're back to "Genevieve Sakuri Svetlana Leilani Brunhilde O'Malley Garcia Bjornson Al-Tahimi Smith."

**Parents:** Often American!Sue has been adopted by nice, normal, middle-class, muggle parents strikingly like those of The Author. They then are brutally murdered by Voldemort (probably because they just told The Author to do her homework and "stop writing those ridiculous Harry Potter stories"). Naturally, her real parents are either dead/evil/in jail.

**Her Story:** American!Sue comes to Hogwarts because either 1.) her parents were murdered and she is in danger 2.) her American wizarding school, which is inevitably in Salem, was destroyed and she was the target/sole survivor 3.) Just because The Author is American and _DUH_, Americans are _COOL_. She proves she is incredibly hip by introducing her British counterparts to such wonders as computers, punk music, and skanky clothes (which, ya know, they don't have in England?) Apparently the American magic school system is vastly superior, because American!Sue is by far smarter and more talented than anyone at Hogwarts, and so does not need to study but rather spends her time flirting with boys and making inside jokes that are only funny to The Author and her friends. All the boys fall in love with her, because DUH, Americans are COOL, and if The Author thinks of it, then she defeats Voldemort by being COOL, but the point of the fic is really not about Harry or Voldemort, it's about American!Sue's skanky clothes, and often, her make-up.

**Love Interest(s):** Harry or Draco, or possibly Sirius or Remus in Marauder fics. Inevitably, they see how cool she is and are charmed by her American "attitude" and are really impressed that she has an ipod and…eyeliner, apparently.

**Other Defining Characteristics:** American!Sue often comes with American!Sue friends, who also have names like jghlshjtm or Myshhigenne. She also comes with a wardrobe of slutty clothes, consisting mostly of leather miniskirts, low-rise jeans, fishnet stockings, halter tops, and FM boots. She probably also has a tattoo/body piercing, because they're COOL.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Daughter!Sue


	6. Daughter Sue

Welcome to class six. Tonight, we will consider Daughter!Sues. This most recent edition of the Sue Guide also includes Dumbledore'sGranddaughter!Sue.

Because of the proliferation of different types of Daughter!Sues, This chapter will be presented a little differently, to include a brief section on each particular Daughter!Sue. However, the author would like to provide a few general thoughts about all Daughter!Sues. First of all, I have never, ever, in my long fanfiction career, seen a good character who is the daughter of Snape, Sirius, or Remus. I would like to see such a fic, if it exists, so if someone can recommend one, and I agree that it is good, I will give you a present. And that present shall be my happiness, which is all you really want out of life anyway.

Now on with the lesson…

In the interest of brevity, the summary of each Daughter!Sue's story will be condensed. Also, this chapter has a new feature…using the most modern and scientific methods, including hours and hours of painstaking research (no, really, I had a boring day at work) I have figured out the MOST frequently occurring name for each kind of Daughter!Sue, and included for honorable mention other names, with completely arbitrary awards that I made up.

Now, let us consider the four main breeds of Daughter!Sue. They include: Voldemort'sDaughter!Sue, Snape'sDaughter!Sue, Sirius'sDaughter!Sue, and Remus'sDaughter!Sue, followed by a section on Dumbledore'sGranddaughter!Sue. We will begin with Voldemort'sDaughter!Sue.

* * *

**Name:** Voldemort'sDaughter!Sue 

**Possible Aliases:**

**_The Most Common Name_**: Natasha

_The Could You Be Any More Obvious Award_: Volda

_The OMG So Trendy Award_: Cooper

_The WTF Award_: Tiyuila

_The What Country Are We In Again Award_: Hikari Tsuki-Riddle

_The You've Got To Be Kidding Me Award_: Genesis Phoenix

_The Freudian Award_: Phalisa

**Parents:** Voldemort/Bellatrix, Voldemort/Lily, Voldemort/Some woman he raped

**Her Story:** Goes to Hogwarts to kill Harry. Is hot. Trades predictable insults with Draco. Is hot. Falls in love with Harry. Angst. Snogs Harry. Angst. Shags Harry. Angst. Turns to the light side. Angst. Kills Voldemort. Probably angst some more.

**Love Interest(s):** Harry. Angst.

**Other Defining Characteristics:** Black hair that is usually streaked with red. Eyes that turn red when she's angry (sos they match her hair, duh). Some sort of ancient pendant that is about as subtle as a huge blinking "Offspring of Voldemort" sign. Animagus skills.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Foreign!Sue

* * *

**Name:** Snape'sDaughter!Sue 

**Possible Aliases:**

**_The Most Common Name_**: Raven

_The OMG So Trendy Award_: Rory

_The That's Not A Name Award_: Baron

_The WTF Award_: Inscribson (No, seriously….)

_The Alliteration Award_: Serafina Samantha Snape

_The I Swear I'm Not Making This Up Award_: Foxlyn Elizabeth Athenea Seline Croft Dumbledore Snape

_The I'm Going To Be Sick Award_: Chanson D'Amour (Yes kids, it really is "Love Song" in French)

**Parents:** Snape/High school girlfriend, Snape/Lily, Snape/Hermione, Snape/Some woman with a weird name who was the love of his life but died.

**Her Story:** Taken away by Mum because Dad is a bad guy. Mum dies. Abused by foster family/orphanage. Expresses anger and unhappiness by wearing goth make-up. Goes to Hogwarts. Insta-bestfriends4eva with the Trio. Meets Snape, discovers he's a bastard. Angst. Meets Harry. Angst. Meets Draco. Angst. Can't choose between them. Angst. Awesome power of father-daughter love reforms Snape. Snape becomes a nice guy, renounces his Death Eater ways, and become a the parents Harry never had. Readers get sick. Snogs Harry. Shags Harry. Kills Voldemort.

**Love Interest(s):** Harry. Draco. Righteous indignation.

**Other Defining Characteristics:** Unusually good at potions (that much-referred to amazing father-daughter bond), Slytherin, fishnet stocking and FM Boots.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Foreign!Sue

* * *

**Name:** Sirius'sDaughter!Sue 

**Possible Aliases:**

**_The Most Common Name_**: Samantha (with "Raven" and "Jade" tying for a close second)

_The WTF Award_: Sakhmet

_The I Have Teen Angst Award_: Rage

_The Sticky Keyboard Award_: Chlloee

_The You've Got To Be Kidding Me Award_: Fireian Marie Sirius Julius Winter-Black

_The Couldn't You Pick A Better Star Than That Award_: Polaris

**Parents:** Sirius/random girlfriend, Sirius/Remus (Don't ask. Please, just don't.), Sirius/Lily, and in one particularly scarring case, Sirius/Draco

**Her Story:** Mum dies. Sent to foster family/orphanage and abused. Becomes rebellious (which, remember, in fanfic means she wears goth make-up and dresses like a whore.) Angst. Goes to Hogwarts. Insta-bestfriends4eva with the trio. Angst. Finds out father was Sirius. Angst. Finds out he's dead. Angst a whole bunch. Is jealous of Harry (for spending time with Sirius). Angst. Falls in love with Harry. Angst. Awesome power of father-daughter love brings Sirius back from the great beyond. Vomit-inducing father-daughter moment.

**Love Interest(s):** Harry. Black eyeliner. Music by Evanescence.

**Other Defining Characteristics:** Magical ability to penetrate the mysterious veil o' doom.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Foreign!Sue

* * *

**Name:** Remus'sDaughter!Sue 

**Possible Aliases:**

**_The Most Common Name_**: Selene (yeah, moon, we get it, you're so clever...) with Katherine and variations (Catherine/Kathryn/Cathryn/Kathrynne) a close second

_The OMG So Trendy Award_: Piper

_The WTF Award_: Saybel

_The Arbitrary Z Award_: Lynz

_The Someone Saw "Memiors of a Geisha" Award_: Sayuri

**Parents:** Remus/random girlfriend, Remus/Sirius (again, don't ask), Remus/Tonks, Remus/Ginny (huh?)

**Her Story:** Sent away (usually to America) with Mum for "protection." Mum dies. Abused by foster family/orphanage. Comes to Hogwarts. Insta-bestfriends4eva with the Trio. They find out she is a werewolf. Angst. She meets Remus. Angst. She hates being a monster blah blah blah. Angst. Falls in love with Harry. Draco reveals to schools she's a werewolf. Angst. Awesome power of father-daughter love renews her and restores her self-esteem and suddenly she finds a cure for lycanthropy! Vomit-inducing moment.

**Love Interest(s):** Harry. Draco (secretly in love with her and in a mad rage of jealousy reveals her secret) Undercooked meat.

**Other Defining Characteristics:** Usually an animagus. Sometimes a vampire too (Why? I don't know. Just because.) Has offensive werewolf-related nicknames like "puppy" that are meant to be cute but really just make us cringe.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Foreign!Sue

* * *

**Name:** Dumbledore'sGranddaughter!Sue 

**Possible Aliases:**

**_The Most Common Name_**: Anastasia (although spelled as Anistasia, Anastassia, Anystaya, etc)

_The Who Knew He Was Japanese Award_: Yumi (although, bizarrely, Dumbledore seems to have an unusually large number of Japanese granddaughters)

_The WTF Award_: Brynde

_The Normalest Name Award_: Sara

_The So Obvious It Hurts Award_: Alba

(And yes, since I know you were wondering, I did find at least one obligatory Raven)

**Parents:** Dumbledore's anonymous son or daughter/spouse, Sirius, Snape, Lily, James, Remus, McGonagall in various combinations (apparently Dumbledore is the father of every single person, ever.)

**Her Story:** Sent aware for "protection." Parents killed for "revenge." Anger! Rage! Resentment! Oh boy, a teaching position at Hogwarts! Comes to Hogwarts. Angst. Fights with Dumbledore. Angst. Makes up with Dumbledore. Angst. Dumbledore dies. Angst. Rebuilds Hogwarts and takes his place. Yay.

**Love Interest(s):** Snape, Remus, Sirius, Harry, Draco...there was no real pattern for this one.

**Other Defining Characteristics:** A phoenix. Tattoos. Resentment. The ability to speak Japanese?

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Foreign!Sue, Adult!Sue


	7. Adult Sue

Good evening and welcome to class seven. Please take your seats, so we can begin tonight's discussion.

Before we begin, I would like to congratulate OnTheIdes and Llassah for directing me to Sirius'sDaughter!Fics that were not irredeemable Sues. You win at life.

Now, let us begin our lesson. Please open your books to Chapter seven- Adult!Sues.

Adult!Sues are unique in a few notable ways. While most Sues originate in the minds of teenage girls (To the teenage girls: Don't get snotty and send me "ZOMGZ u meenie!1!" e-mails, you know it's true) Adult!Sues are very often created by adults. This means they can often be harder to spot because they will be correctly spelled and not describe the Sue's HotTopic!Wardrobe in excrutiating detail. This does not change our view of them, they are still Sues and should be treated accordingly (with merciless mockery). There are two main breeds of Adult!Sue. They are NewOrderMember!Sue, and NewTeacher!Sue. They are similar in many ways, but since their stories are quite different, we will discuss them separately.

* * *

**Name**: NewOrderMember!Sue 

**Possible Aliases**: Generally follows the Generic Suename template(see footnote 1).

**Parents**: Died. Tragically.

**Her Story**: NewOrderMember!Sue is a world-famous Auror/curse-breaker/potions expert/general arse-kicker, and Dumbledore decides the Order cannot continue to exist without her. She knows Dumbledore because she went to Hogwarts, but left for abroad right after graduation, running from her Complicated Past™ with (love interest). After (love interest) broke her heart, she kept in touch with Dumbledore and now he asked her personally to join the Order.

Dumbledore conveniently forgets to tell them she is coming, and so (love interest) thinks she is a trespasser and she gets to display her arse-kicking skills.

_Cue flashback: NewOrderMember!Sue and (love interest) have an angsty break-up/farewell for reasons that are never fully explained._

The other order members are amazed they've managed to muddle through without her. Major Death Eater arse-kicking begins, with much witty commentary from NewOrderMember!Sue. She single-handedly turns the tide of the war.

_Cue flashback: NewOrderMember!Sue and (love interest)'s relationship during the happy times._

More Death Eater arse-kicking.

_Cue flashback: Shagging (love interest)._

NewOrderMember!Sue and (love interest) finally have a huge fight about their Complicated Past™ and this commences the sex scene direct from the pages of a bodice-ripper.

The good guys triumph.

Harry Potter? Who's that?

**Love Interest(s)**: Either

a.) FluffyandRomantic!Snape (see footnote 2)

b.) SexGod!Sirius (see footnote 3)

c.) SensitiveandMysterious!Remus

**Other Defining Characteristics**: Arse-kicking ability. Weren't you listening? Also has full Dominatrix-style wardrobe.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Foreign!Sue, Daughter!Sue

* * *

**Name**: NewTeacher!Sue 

**Possible Aliases**: Generally follows the Generic Suename template( see footnote 1).

**Parents**: Died. Tragically.

**Her Story**: NewTeacher!Sue is also a world famous Auror/Curse breaker/potions expert. She comes to Hogwarts to help protect it from Voldemort, but even more importantly, to teach Harry the secrets of her amazing OMG SPESHUL POWERZ™.

_Cue flashback: She knows Hogwarts, because she was a TransferStudent!Sue earlier in life and went to Hogwarts after the tragic death of her parents, where she was comforted by (love interest)._

NewTeacher!Sue tutors Harry in OMG SPESHUL POWERZ™ which are never really described, but will surely defeat Voldemort. While she wanders around Hogwarts at night wearing sexy lingerie, she coincidentally runs into (love interest). They argue about Harry's training and Harry's safety and their complicated past.

_Cue flashback: NewTeacher!Sue and (love interest)'s budding relationship is cut short by her OMGSUPERSECRET training in SPESHUL POWERZ™ There is angst._

They shag. At Hogwarts. Quite possibly in the library.

NewTeacher!Sue defeats Voldemort, and possibly Harry helps.

**Love Interest(s)**: Either

a.) FluffyandRomantic!Snape (see footnote 2)

b.) BackFromTheVeil!Sirius

c.) SensitiveandMysterious!Remus

**Other Defining Characteristics**: OMG SPESHUL POWERZ™!1one! Obligatory Sue!Pendant that shows her special magical ancestry that leads to the OMG SPESHUL POWERZ™.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue, Foreign!Sue, Daughter!Sue

* * *

**(1)** Generic Suename Template: 

First name: made up and random

2nd name: made up and random

3rd name: made up and random

4th name: random combination of mysterious sounding words

5th name: obscure connection to canon

Last name: random combination of mysterious sounding words

(Example name created using the Generic Suename Template: Ayalina Jadequa Soroniella Truthseeker Dumbledore Moonbeamrider...and that's just off the top of my head)

**(2)** FluffyandRomantic!Snape comes with an obligatory explanation of how he's not really evil and a Death Eater and it was all part of a pre-arranged plan. This theory does not represent the views of Citygirl1116 or any of her affiliates or subsidiaries.

**(3)** I confess, a long time ago in a galaxy far away, I wrote a story featuring a SexGod!Sirius. Why? Well, you consider that he's angry, frustrated, and obviously wasn't getting laid for the 13 years in Azkaban...think about it.


	8. Marauder Sue

Good evening, and welcome to class eight. Please take your seats and open your books to the chapter on Marauder!Sues. This is a particularly exciting class, because it marks our first exposure to one of the great plagues of the fanfiction word- the Canon!Sue. While we will have a full chapter on Canon!Sues later, we felt that one Canon!Sue, the Lily!Sue, was better explained in this chapter. Lily!Sue will be discussed separately after the more general Marauder!Sue.

Before we discuss the Sues, we must first establish what we mean when we say "Marauders." In canon, we have seen that these four boys were smart, popular, good-looking, and tended to bully the less popular students. In the fanon, they are as follows:

"**The Marauders"** (alternately "Maraders," "Maurauders," "Mauraders," "Murauders," and so on…)

**James Potter**: Obnoxious dumb jock who can't form a sentence in Lily's presence.

**Sirius Black**: Man-whore with the I.Q. of a rock.

**Remus Lupin**: Bookish pansy.

**Peter Pettigrew**: Huh? Who?

Now that we understand the mangling of canon characters, let's continue with the Sues.

* * *

**Name**: Marauder!Sue 

**Possible Aliases**: Generally follows Generic Suename Template (see footnote 1)

**Parents**: Dead. Tragically. (Call me crazy, but I'm detecting a pattern…?)

**Her Story**: Marauder!Sue is usually also an ExchangeStudent!Sue. She comes to Hogwarts in the Marauders fifth or sixth year because 1.) She is wanted by Voldemort, 2.) Her American/French/Other Magic school was destroyed by Voldemort, 3.) Her guardians were killed by Voldemort, 4.) No particular reason.

She meets the Marauders on the train, and they all just automatically accept that she is there, and that she is wearing an outfit that would look skanky in 2006, much less in 1976 (pause action while Sue's outfit is described in detail, down to her nail polish). Although they have just met, she pours out her tale of woe and abuse and weeps on the shoulder of (love interest). She immediately becomes Insta-bestfriends4eva with Lily and her friends, who are Minor!Sues too (see footnote 2). She wows them with her amazing animagus/seer/wandless magic powers, but is totally modest and embarrassed by all the fuss (snort).

She falls in love with (love interest) and proceeds to angst. (Love interest) likes her too but there are still 15 chapters of angst before they get together. They snog. They shag (omgtehsex!). They fight. Repeat for rest of story.

Possibly she and (love interest) spawn a Daughter!Sue and the cycle of evil continues.

After his brutal murder of her parents, Voldemort disappears. Odd that.

**Love Interest(s)**: Sirius or Remus. NEVER PETER. I repeat: NEVER PETER. NEVER EVEREVEREVER. EVER. NEVER. EVER. She will do McGonagall before she'll do Peter.

**Other Defining Characteristics**: 2006 HotTopic!Wardrobe, special powers, angst.

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Foreign!Sue, Rebel!Sue

* * *

**Name**: Lily!Sue 

**Possible Aliases**: Lily Evans. Lillian Evans. Lilian Evans. Lilly Evans. Her Royal Highness Princess Lily Evans of SomethingOrOther (No shit.)

**Parents**: Muggles. Or so JKR would have you believe, but really…..

**Her Story**: She's adopted (and in a remarkable number of stories, pureblood royalty, because God forbid we actually grasp one of the lessons Rowling is trying to imply). And abused (it's so hard to be her …wangst) She goes to Hogwarts to get away from her horrible abusive parents and horrible sister, and on the train she meets the Lily'sFriends!Sues. Then she has some kind of contrived argument with James Potter, at which point she decides she will hate him 4EVAH!

Then suddenly 5 years pass. Probably via some clever transition like "5 Years Later…"

Lily gets a makeover from her American cousin, and suddenly she is OMGHAWT and is probably goth or punk or emo or whatever 2006 social group The Author identifies with. She is inevitably a shallow bitchy ice queen, which makes readers wonder when she transforms into an interesting and well-rounded character who would sacrifice her life for her son. But don't worry, this fic won't get that far, it's all about Lily!Sue fighting with Fanfic!James. Readers skip the fifteen chapters of lame pranks and generic dialogue, which is copied whole cloth from the "Snape's Worst Memory" chapter of OoTP, and then cut-and-pasted into every chapter.

Finally, Lily and James get together by being locked in a broom closet (which they just happened to wander into?) because everyone knows broom closets are TEHSEXY! I'm getting hot just thinking about mops and cleaning supplies...

Anyway, they snog, and eventually produce AU!Harry.

**Love Interest(s)**: Ultimately James, but she can date, in no particular order and not limited to: Sirius, Remus, Snape, and someone The Author makes up. Lily!Sue is kind of a whore. (Cut long paragraph on the social and psychological implications of young girls thinking that nobody without a boyfriend every single second can be cool. I have the occasional serious moment. I'll try not to let it happen again.)

**Other Defining Characteristics**: For the love of canon, please let it be red hair and green eyes. Muggle!Angst. A magical pendant relating to her royal background (Again, no shit.)

**May Be Combined With:** TragicPast!Sue, Foreign!Sue, Rebel!Sue

* * *

(1) Generic Suename Template: 

First name: made up and random

2nd name: made up and random

3rd name: made up and random

4th name: random combination of mysterious and profound words

5th name: obscure connection to canon

Last name: random combination of mysterious and profound words

(Example name created using the Generic Suename Template: Adenairia Tariauran Katanyala Skydancer Weasley Stormwielder ...and that's just off the top of my head)

(2) Citygirl1116 is inclined to excuse Lily'sFriend!Sues as we have no information about Lily's friends and authors who want to write L/J fics are forced to make them up. Citygirl1116 has done so herself. However, Citygirl1116 does not think Lily's friends have names like "Destini Chanelle" and wear tight jeans and halter tops and listen to Evanescence on their iPods. _That_ is Citygirl1116's objection to Lily'sFriends!Sues.


	9. Canon Sue

Good evening class. As you are all aware, the Sue lessons have been on a temporary hiatus due to unforeseen circumstances (known as "Citygirl got a life."). However, due to the release of a new Harry Potter book and movie this summer, we can expect a deluge of new Authors and new Sues. Thus, this teacher would be remiss if she did not prepare students for this by including a lesson on what many believe to be the most insidious and evil of all the Sues: The Canon!Sue.

Don't be fooled by the myth that if a story contains no Original Characters it can't have Mary Sues. Quite the contrary, it is often these Canon!Sues that are the worst offenders. The main categories of Canon!Sue are Hermione!Sue and Ginny!Sue, and these are the Sues we will be focusing on in this lesson.

Let's begin with the ever-popular Hermione!Sue.

**Name**: Hermione!Sue:

**Possible Aliases**: Hermione Jane Granger, Hermoine (I will not list all possible variations on spelling, as I estimate there are 20,160 ways it can be misspelled, and somewhere at some time, they have all been used), Mione, Mia, Mya, Hermione Malfoy, Hermione Riddle, Hermione Potter, Princess Hermione of SomeMadeUpCountry, Professor Snape's sex kitten, name created using the Generic Suename Template (see Footnote 1).

**Parents**: Mr. and Mrs. Granger (D.D.S). But more often than not Hermione!Sue is adopted. Her real parents might include but are not limited to: Voldemort, the Malfoys, James and Lily Potter, and Death Eaters, any member of a Royal family (real or imagined).

**Her Story**: The reader unacquainted with fanfic might think we already know this from reading the Harry Potter books, but a seasoned professional knows it would be foolish to assume all fanfiction authors are capable of reading. Students should not that these stories do not feature Hermione, but Hermione!Sue whose story will differ from the real Hermione's in many ways, including but not limited to:

1.) Her parents will either meet a tragic end or reveal she was adopted (and then meet a tragic end).

2.) She has a long-lost sibling, most likely a twin.

3.) She will receive a makeover, which will eliminate her bushy hair, as well as 50 IQ points and any semblance of character originality.

4.) Harry and Ron will cease to exist, unless one (or both) of them is her love interest.

5.) Lots of sex.

6.) And more sex.

**Love Interests**: Everyone. No, really. Including but not limited to: Ron (a glimmer of canon makes me weep with joy…) Harry, Draco, Boy!Blaise, Snape, Remus, Fred and/or George, other older Weasley brothers. In the case of the more rare but not unheard of Lesbian!Hermione!Sue, may also include Ginny, Luna, Parvati, Lavender, Cho Chang, or Pansy Parkinson.

**Other Defining Charcteristics**: A huge rack. No, seriously, for some reason a recurring theme in these fics is that there is mention made of Hermione!Sue's enormous breasts. If I didn't know better, the starring role of Hermione!Sue's décolletage would make me think these things were written by 14-year-old boys. There is also a troubling frequency of the phrase "curves in all the right places."

**May Be Combined With**: TragicPast!Sue, Rebel!Sue.

* * *

**Name**: Ginny!Sue

**Possible Aliases**: Ginny Weasley, Ginevra Weasley, Virginia Weasley, Gin (which I frequently need to drink to get through these fics…), Princess Ginevra, name created using the Generic Suename Template. (see footnote 1).

**Parents**: Arthur and Molly Weasley, Voldemort and red-haired woman, various made-up members of royalty, Lily Evans and various people (the red hair factor, I guess.)

**Her Story**: Again, do not assume that because Ginny appears in canon that you know Ginny!Sue's story. The aspects you did not know about may include:

1.) Her makeover. While we've never had any indication Ginny isn't pretty, she will of course require a makeover to get the heavy make-up and skanky clothes required by a Mary Sue.

2.) The fact that she is adopted, despite looking exactly like the rest of the Weasley family.

3.) Her amazing sex life…in fanfic, that fact that Ginny has dated in canon automatically means she's getting laid. A lot.

4.) She's a "rebel," which means she wears skanky clothes, talks back to her parents, drinks, listens to teen angst music, and has a secret yearning for Draco Malfoy.

5.) Sex. Lots of it.

**Love Interests**: Harry (while you might think that represents homage to canon, I will indicate that this Harry bears no resemblance to canon Harry, but rather is all sexy and chiseled), Draco (I think Authors think they're pulling a Romeo and Juliet thing with throwing together characters from feuding families, but I think it gives them too much credit to compare with Shakespeare. And I highly doubt Romeo ever called Juliet "babe"), Oliver Wood, Ron (what can I say, some people are perverts), Tom Riddle, Voldemort (post-transformation to a creepy nose-less bald guy).

**Other Defining Characteristics**: A huge rack. Yes, again. An "attitude", hordes of lust-crazed men following her, a "hidden dark side."

**May Be Combined With**: Rebel!Sue, Dark!Sue.

* * *

1) Generic Suename Template:

First name: made up and random

2nd name: made up and random

3rd name: made up and random

4th name: random combination of mysterious and profound words

5th name: obscure connection to canon

Last name: random combination of mysterious and profound words

(Example name created using the Generic Suename Template: Clarissina Amarindna Edenamarie Truthlight Riddle Darkhorizon ...and that's just off the top of my head)


End file.
